Indigo Eyes and Calico Cats

Liz. Texas. I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars, whiskey, and you. What else you need to know?

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→ 19 Feb 12 at 2 am

painrecedes:

noelbackwardsisleon:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

So the Lord said to Moses. “What is that in your hand.”

And Moses replied “My pimp stick.”

omg

I just need this here.

(via -feel-infinite-)

  1. mathaniel reblogged this from crownroyalontherocks and added:
    God did smite Onan who spilled his seed on the ground, so he put them in a pot instead.
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    Every time I see this post I just laugh.
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    Omg this made me laugh so hard even though I was crying.
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